I Miss You So Much
by Makura-Chan
Summary: It's rated this for later chapters but it's pretty mild right now anyway i suck at summaries so just read and reveiw
1. prologue

There You'll Be, Forever ****

There You'll Be

Disclaimer: No I don't own Escaflowne or it's characters but I did invent some new ones I don't feel like listing them but I'll assume/hope you know Escaflowne well enough too tell!

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When I think back on these times

And the dreams we left be hind

I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed 

To have you in me life

A young pilot hopes out of one of the fighter planes on the airfield. She had no sooner hit the ground she was swarmed with reporters. They all pushed closer as she was momentarily blinded by a flash of a camera she finally pushes through the crowd saying she will answer a few questions inside the hanger where the meeting was to be set up.

When I think back on these days 

I'll look and see your face

You were right there for me

She takes of her helmet and settles down in a chair provided by her father and younger brother her only remaining relative (her mother had died after a long battle with cancer the year before). After everyone got settled they begin to ask her questions. One small rat like man in a baseball cap asks " Miss Kanzaki I'm, John Mackenzie from the Post and we want to know why are you leaving the F.B.I to become a pilot after how well known you are". The girl smiles and says quietly "I love to fly and I'm used to the army my dad as you know was and still is the best engineer the military ever had. My brother and partner in crime is my co-pilot so we can work together as a family. Anyone else have a questions". Hands shoot up and about fifty voices start speaking at once "Slow down one at a time" she says loudly.

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In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me 

And everywhere I am there you'll be

And everywhere I am there you'll be

Hitomi entered the house dead tired after the interview she and her brother went and did some drills. Their planes she and her father designed. They really were amazing they didn't need fuel, heck they'd keep working till they get shot down they also use lasers weaponry so their was no running out of ammunition in a battle and they were aerodynamically superior to all others. She ran upstairs and flopped on the bed. As she thought over the day's events she sighs press conferences weren't unusual since she came back from Gaea. After she came back she threw herself into work to the outside observer she seemed perfect. After she had her pilots license and had been excepted into Harvard at age 16 and graduated at age 20 with a PHD in engineering, law and medicine not to mention her evolvement in track, karate and fencing (it made her think of Van). She excepted a job at the F.B.I, special intelligence and now at age 25 she is a pilot in the airforce.

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Well, you showed me how it feels

To have the sky within my reach 

And I always all the strength you gave to me

Your love made me make it through

Oh, I owe so to you 

You were right there for me

That night she dreamt of Van, Gaea and Varie, who told her, her time, was near to return to Geae and to Van. She smiled at the thought even though she and Van had lost touch she had kept her promise and had never forgotten him. Van had always been looking out for her like whenever she felt like she needed him, he left a feather. She smiled and fell back asleep.__

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me 

And everywhere I am there you'll be

The next morning she packed her bags and stuck it in her plane and convinced her father and brother to pack their up and put it the planes and go for a fly. They humored her and soon they were off doing barrel rolls and other stunts in the sky when a pillar of light came and carried them off.

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Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength

And I want to thank you now for all the ways

You were right there for me

You were right there for me

As the light dropped them off in unfamiliar skies they fought to keep their planes under control. They heard screams from below.

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In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me 

And everywhere I am there you'll be 

And everywhere I am there'll you'll be 

Hitomi looks around and smiles. As she sees the two moons in the sky. She radios her father and Mark her brother to fallow her and try to land.

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There'll you'll be

A/N Like it hate want me to continue then you have to review and flames welcome and what song do you want for the next chapter? Review or I won't continue and is it a long enough chapter?

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	2. My Heart Will Go On

My Heart Will Go On ****

My Heart Will Go On

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Every night in my dreams 

I see you I feel you 

That is how I know you

Go on

Far across the distance 

And spaces between us

You have come to show you

Go on

Van awoke early that morning knowing that _she _was coming back he didn't know why but he knew. There was a load crash and in cam Merle ten years today he sighed on the anniversary sense she left. Merle never left his side thinking he'd do something rash and stupid if she didn't come back. Normally depressed on this date she found him happy as she wondered if he had finally let her go. She didn't ask but Van saw it in her eyes what she was thinking so he set her straight by saying that no he had not given up and that she was coming back today he could feel it. Merle sighs "lord Van she is not coming back can't you except that she home, happy and probably married". "She not" he said "I'd know" Van interrupts. "What ever lord Van, the council wants to talk to you about finding a wife." "They know my opinion on that, why can't they me alone".

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Near…far 

Wherever you are 

I believe that the heart does go on

Once…more

You open the door

And you're here in my heart and 

My heart will go on and on

Van stood on the roof after the meeting. "HitomiI can't keep them off forever you have to come back you just have to." The king sighed and was about to climb down to greet the old war heroes they always came on the day Hitomi left to make sure he didn't do anything stupid, like Merle. He climbs down the stairs when he sees a light and then screaming. Instead of a human body he sees three large metal birds. He runs down to where the _Crusade _has just landed in a brief explanation the set of to find out the problem and to protect the newly rebuilt Fanelia.

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Love can touch us one time and last for a life time 

And never let go 'til

You're gone

Love was when I loved 

One true time I

Hold to

In this life we'll always

Go on

Meanwhile Hitomi and her family are trying to find a place to land without killing anybody. Her father and brother aren't even surprised by the two moons in the sky along with the sun or the fact that on of these planets is Earth. Her family was in the army/airforce long enough not to scare easily. She sighs and the start some formations when Mark (her brother) notices they are being followed by the _Crusade. _He warns them and they start to avoid them agreeing not to fire unless they fire first. Start doing in tricks and defense strategies.

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Near… far

Wherever you are I believe that the heart does

Go on

Once… more

You opened the door 

And you're here in my heart and

My heart

Go on and on

As they three people in the planes see the docking bay the _Crusade _closes in however the planes are faster and they land first followed by the _Crusade _when the pilots get out they are surrounded by the _crusade_ crew and passengers. Who are shocked at the three people from the Mystic moon especially after they are lead into the king's study to be introduced? After the helmets are taken off the geaens are floored by the beautiful women pilot who asks which part of Gaea their in. 

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You're here 

There's nothing I fear

And I know that my heart will 

Go on 

Once more 

You open the door

And in my heart and 

My heart will go on and on

Van is just about to answer when Allen interrupts rudely saying "Fanelia but that's not important." The young women rises her eyebrows and asks "Oh really and what is? Anyway this is Fanelia what part is it all finished its so different!" All in the room stare Van finding his voice asks "how do you know Fanelia when your from the…

A/n aren't I mean anyway if you wanna know what happens review for more story

Ps I don't own escaflowne but I own the characters I made up!

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	3. complicated

Chapter 3 - Complicated ****

Chapter 3 - Complicated

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I'm so scared that the way I feel is written all over my face

When you walk into the room

I wanna find a hiding place.

We used to laugh; we used to hug, the way that old friends do.

But now a smile and a touch of your hand makes me come unglued.

Is that your contradiction?

Do I lie or tell the truth?

Is it fact or fiction?

Oh, the way I feel for you.

"Hitomi" Van gasped as he stared at the young women who stepped out of one the strange air-ships (that totally out leagued the Crusade). She was gorgeous however at that moment the older of the two gentlemen who accompanied her shouted for them to line up as they did he continued to yell " Who in the hell knows what just happened?" In mid-sentence he stopped turned to the young girl "Miss Kanzaki would you be so kind as to explain what is going on? And how does that man know your name?) Miss Kanzaki he had heard Miss Kanzaki it had to her Van thought. Hitomi answered "Sir yes sir." "Well then enlighten us!" Barked the old man "This is geaea sir!" The man seemed stunned " Requesting permission to go to take the day off sir!" A very white man answered "granted" The girl laughed lightly "Thanks Dad."

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It's so complicated

I'm so frustrated,

I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,

I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.

Should I say it?

Should I tell you how I feel?

Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't,

It's so complicated

Hitomi laughed again and said "It's so good to see you all again!" and then more pointedly "Hi Van." Then she turned when her brother coughed "Oh, may introduce my brother Mark and my father Josh." "Hitomi would you mind explaining" asked pointedly. "Yes of course but you all must come in and we'll get better aquatinted." Interrupted Millerna and she marched them inside where they got a full explanation and got caught upon everybody's lives.

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Just when I think I'm under control,

I think I finally got a grip,

Another friend tells me my name is always on your lips.

They say I'm more then just a friend,

They say I must be blind.

Well, I admit I've seen you once watch me from the corner of your eye.

Oh, it's so confusing,

I wish you'd just confess.

But think of what I'd be losing,

If your answer wasn't yes.

At dinner that evening they all smiled and chatted. Well all but one anyway Celena sat and glared who did this little witch think she was anyway she fumed in her head taking all Van's attention! Because as much as her former self hated Van her regular self loved him and she planned to marry him no matter what happened and no matter what she had to do! However Hitomi sat ignorant to all this and talked to Millerna, about how she and Dryden had hooked up again and how Allen and Eries had hooked up. Hitomi's father and Allen were discussing the military and her brother was talking to Merle learning more about the war. Van sat across from Hitomi with a stupid goofy smile on his face and was completely happy.

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It's so complicated

I'm so frustrated,

I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,

I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.

Should I say it?

Should I tell you how I feel?

Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't,

It's so complicated

After dinner the guests from the Mystic Moon where given their rooms and then went out to the gardens for a walk. Van and Hitomi went to the docking bay so she could explain the planes. As they walked Celena followed them and swore in her mind at Hitomi. They couple walked and talked in pure contentment when they had walked down to Folken grave after Hitomi had explained modern planes and promised to take Van up tomorrow. As they walked Hitomi said "Van I missed you a lot" Hitomi realizing what she said kicked herself mentally. Van on the other hand was going to burst with joy because Hitomi had missed him. Celena realizing if she didn't do something Van or the

Alien witch would say, "I love you!" Celena couldn't let that happen so she rushed forward faking a smile and a sweet "there you two are." But in her mind was thinking up a way to dispose of "Miss Kanzaki".

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I hate it

Cause I've waited so long for someone like you.

What do I do?

That night Hitomi climbed up on the roof of the castle after everyone went to bed she however was met by Van who nearly fell of in surprise after a short silence. Hitomi laughed and said, "I guess old habits die hard." Van still in shock said "Hitomi I love you" after Van screamed at himself mentally but Hitomi walked over to him and kissed him saying, "I love you too!"

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Should I say it?

Should I tell you how I feel?

Oh, I want you to know, but then again I don't.

It's so complicated.

Little did they know what was in Hitomi's room waiting for her? As they walked to her room later on and said goodnight. As soon as Van turned around the corner he heard a scream come from Hitomi's room!

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It's so complicated

It's so complicated

A/n hi all I'm back pleaze review and feel free to leave questions

Disclaimer I don't own escalfowne sigh


	4. rainy day man

Chapter 4 – Rainy Day Man

Chapter 4 – Rainy Day Man

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When I think about the first time (the first time)

I thought I found someone who cared for me

But things were not as they appeared to be

As Van ran down the hall toward Hitomi's room he was getting scared she was in pain he could tell from her scream. As he neared her room he saw Celena come out of her room two doors down. "Van I heard a strange noise what's going on?" she asked (she looked worried but her voice sounded happy Van noticed but did not take much notice). "Did you see anyone leave her room?" Van demanded in between gasps as he tried to break down the door (because it was locked) "Why no" she answered smugly. At that moment there was a loud crack as the door broke down. As they entered now accompanied by Milearna who woke at the odd noises down the hall. Milearna stepped through the shards of wood that had been the door. She gasped at what she saw lying on the floor was Hitomi in a pool of her own blood.

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Rainy day man on your shoulder I cried

When my first brush with love

Left me shaking inside

Rainy day man

Van swore as he saw the girl no woman he loved dying in front of him. He turned to Milearna as if begging for help. Milearna however had left only to return with medical supplies "Lift her to the bed Van" she commanded and she started to work on the unconscious Hitomi. After many agonizing hours what seemed like years to Van. Milearna came out and told him she would be fine but she had severe damage to her spine from the stab wounds on her back she may never walk again though there was a slim chance she would but she needed rest. "Does she know" a white faced Van asked Milearna shook her head "No, the shock would have killed her. Van walked into the dimly lit room and saw a very white Hitomi lying on the bed he sat down beside her on the bed and said "hi, how are you feeling" he looked at her sadly. "Van what is it?" she asked and the slowly "Why can't I feel my legs? Why can't I move?" "Hitomi calm down it'll be okay" he soothed "you need rest". "Van please I have to know!"

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Ever since I can remember (remember)

Just like a brother you've been strong and true

Always been the one to see me through

From the hall you could here a heart broken moan as Van told her the truth. All those who loved Hitomi stood together outside the door just as heart broken as Hitomi. All but one that is, Celena. In the next few weeks Hitomi got slowly worse the shock had been to great on her. Everyone else was depressed and Van was almost ready to kill anyone on sight who tried to take him out of her room. Only Celena smiled away happy as anything. Hitomi could die easily now and she would end up queen and anyone who tried to stop her would just have to die too! She laughed as she thought of "poor little Hitomi" dead oh, well she thought that would almost take care of the garbage around here Merle then Hitomi's family next. And then she would be able to marry her beloved Van. No one she thought will stop me! She laughed then a laugh as murderous as Dilandau's.

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Rainy day man 

You're more than a friend 

I would give anything

Just to see you again

Rainy day man

Rainy day man

During the last few weeks Hitomi was miserable but then she started to realize how selfish she was being. And how much everyone was worried about her family and friends haunted her room and Van never left unless Allen dragged him away so he could eat, sleep, take a shower and run his country. One day she woke to find Van asleep in the chair next to her. He looked so sweet that she had to smile the first smile since the accident. To that smile Van woke up to and he felt blessed and joy filled.

A/N hi all I'm back and with a new chapter any way five reviews for more story p.s. I don't own escaflowne but you knew that ^_~ luv ya all 

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	5. Swear it again

Swear it again 

Swear it again

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I wanna know

Who ever told you I was letting go

Of the only joy that I have ever known

Girl, they're lying

As the first morning rays shown through a lavishly decorated room a young woman in her mid-twenties passed wildly _why isn't that little bitch dead yet. _The silver headed woman fumed _I try and try but it isn't working she's living that little bitch is living._ At that moment she hears a cry of shear joy from down the hall. _What the fuck is the matter now?_ As she races down the corridor.

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Just look around

And all of the people that we used to know

Have just given up, they wanna let it go

But we're still trying

As Celena contemplates, Van awakens to the shining emerald eyes of his beloved who for the first time in weeks is awake and actually smiling. As she herself stares back at Van in pure ecstasy over for the first time in weeks wanting to live. "_Van, I love you and I want to get better will you help me?" _Van as all ways a loss for (he's soo cute confused ^_^) practically shouts for joy and pulls her in his arms ready to explode with happiness that Hitomi was going to be fine and live oh god she's going to live.

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So you should know this love we share was never made to die

I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I

Just you and I

At the sound of a very happy Van about 8 or 9 people poured into the room. As Van happily gives an account of what has just happened and Josh explains a new procedure that could save her Celena screams all the curses she knows (which lets just say is a lot) inside her head. The room vacated to so that the operation can begin. Six and half-hours later victory is won and Hitomi after much rest can walk again. As Van is told the news he is doing his own version of the happy, happy joy, joy dance along with everyone except for Celena.

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I'm never gonna say goodbye

Cos I never wanna see you cry

I swore to you my love would remain

And I swear it all over again and I

I'm never gonna treat you bad

Cos I never wanna see you sad

I swore to share your joy and your pain

And I swear it all over again

Months later a much happier Hitomi and Van walk the corridors of the palace when Hitomi (fully healed for now) gets the idea "Van I never did take you flying how about now?" Van smiles and kisses her "Whatever you say." Hitomi laughs and leads the way to the docking bay were her father and brother are showing an amazed Gaddes the planes. "Dad I'm taking Van up k?" "Missy just because you were injured doesn't mean that you are not out of the U.S airforce and you do not call your commanding officer Dad." "Yes Sir May I go Sir." "You may." "Thank you Sir" she leads, Van off towards her own plane after a quick maintenance check the take off. Meanwhile a dark shadow appears from the darkness _smile while you can bitch, smile while you can_ before slipping back into darkness.

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All over again

Some people say

That everything has got its place in time

Even the day must give way to the night

But I'm not buying

Cos in your eyes

I see a love that burns eternally

And if you see how beautiful you are to me

You'll know I'm not lying

Hours later as they return to the castle for dinner the happy couple (Van and Hitomi) speak quietly until they reach the grand hall were Celena awaits for her chance to steal Van. After dinner Hitomi spends hours with her family just talking until her makes a startling announcement he and Merle are getting married. Van shocked ask how in the hell it happen only to be answered by Merle. " Well while you and Hitomi have spent the last month in lala land we fell in love and since we have decided to make him a military adviser there is no reason why we can't." Hitomi however leaps up and hugs everyone with congratulations. Celena smiles _well at least two are out of the way between Van and me. _

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye

But even if we try

There are something's in this life won't be denied

Won't be denied

I'm never gonna say goodbye

Cos I never wanna see you cry

I swore to you my love would remain

And I swear it all over again and I

I'm never gonna treat you bad

Cos I never wanna see you sad

I swore to share your joy and your pain

And I swear it all over again

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you

And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more

The more that you love me, the more that I know

Oh that I'm never gonna let you go

Gotta let you know that I

I'm never gonna say goodbye

Cos I never wanna see you cry

I swore to you my love would remain

And I swear it all over again and I

I'm never gonna treat you bad

Cos I never wanna see you sad

I swore to share your joy and your pain

And I swear it all over again

A/N Writers block gone yah but I still need reviews and suggestions P.S. I don't own escaflowne but you knew that ^_~ 


	6. Apology

Hi everyone, I have been trying to re-start this story but I just can't seem to do it at this time. So I will be putting it away for the time being. I hope to be able to finish it someday, sorry to disappoint you all.

Sincerely 

~ Mystic_Eyes


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